And that's where the online thesaurus comes in. I don't want to use everyday, regular people words. I want to use ten dollar, highbrow words. I want to be perspicacious.
Today, as I was trolling thesaurus.com for the perfect word to express "beginning" (my first word choice had been "inception", but I thought that sounded pretentious, so I chose "beginning", but that was too simple) the word "renovation" caught my eye. I am, of course, familiar with the word, but I found the definition to be a perfect description of what I what to do with this soggy, disheveled mess I call my life.
First, "to restore to good condition". I immediately thought of my physical self. It's definitely not in "good condition". I can, and should, be more strict with my blood sugar. If I increase my activity it will improve several illnesses that affect my body. Actually going to see my doctors would be especially helpful--I've been ignoring the medical profession lately, and possibly only seeing the doctor when I'm admitted to the hospital isn't the most healthy decision.
Next to "reinvigorate; refresh; revive." I'm tired. Exhausted, both physically and mentally. My jokes are getting old, and I find myself telling the same stories over and over. I need to start getting out and experiencing new things. I can't remember the last time I went to a concert or play (actually, I do. It was four years ago at Christmas). I tend to choose the same genre of books consistently. I'm beginning to bore myself, much less anyone else. I need something new to experience. I need new stuff to talk about.
But now I'm back to the same old problem: How do I make myself do what I need to do? Why don't I do what I want to do? Or why don't I want to do what I should do?
Hmmm....maybe "inception" was the better word. To "begin, take in hand." I need to take myself in hand, and begin a new phase of my life. I need to "take; seize" my present, and create the future I want, need, and deserve. Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me!